Q: Shouldn't you put disclaimers or Trigger Warnings in your content?
This question gave me pause for a while and it took a lot of reflection. As with everything in life, opinions vary and I can only speak truly for myself and the close circle of friends I have discussed this with. My short answer is No, and the following post will go into my reasoning for that.
My personal answer to this question is relatively simple and that's purely connected to my style of writing. In every novella, short, or series I work on, I naturally do my best to include disclaimers and trigger warnings within the writing itself. I drop hints, my characters discuss things through dialogue, or I narrate a past experience or encounter. I tease, tempt and allude to certain acts and then I follow through. All while staying to my core beliefs behind care, consent and checking in. I can only speak to my characters' comforts before they indulge in something new, strange, or intense.
Is it the perfect solution? Perhaps not. The alternative however, doesn't seem to vibe with my personal beliefs. Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. We can never protect ourselves, or others, completely. I could be perfectly aroused while reading a story that included choking, and appalled by the inclusion of spanking. It is almost impossible to create the picture-perfect disclaimer that could effectively warn our readers about everything that may trigger them. At some point, the responsibility falls on the consumer to accept their situation and the risks they are taking on the paths they choose. One stormy night on either wine or edibles, I had pondered this deeply when my bestie and I decided to try and make a disclaimer / trigger-warning for the whole Internet. That's right, the WHOLE Internet. Go ahead... I dare you... I can wait. This is the reason I have stuck to the tried and tested: "This is a work of fiction... yadda yadda yadda."
This all-encompassing level of protection, no matter how virtuous it may seem, is a futile endeavor for an author. Should a restaurant just avoid all allergens to protect the populace? Maybe just serve bowls of steamed rice? Of course not, because rice allergies are a thing. At some point in time, people have stopped taking ownership of their own risks and have forced that responsibility onto the world around them. Don't even get me started on my day as a manager where a customer brought in an empty bag of salt & vinegar kettle chips and demanded a full refund, plus free replacement, all because she hated vinegar. This is what our society has become in many ways. "This is not my preference, I am outraged, I demand compensation." We can easily apply this logic to authors and readers. If there are things about erotica that bother a reader, it's on them to do what it takes to protect themselves. Should we as authors fear or dwell on a review like this?
"I hate anal (triggers me) and this story had a butt plug. No refund. 1-star."
No, we should neither fear, dwell nor prepare for it. The reader here found something they didn't like and cast a blanket opinion of an entire piece, on a handful of words or paragraphs. Maybe it's a reflection of my time growing up somewhere in that golden era between libraries and dial-up internet, but there was a time where we took ownership for things we didn't find appealing. We set it aside, put it down, didn't eat that particular dish again. If I was unsure about something, I asked, I researched, I protected myself.
That last sentence is what it all comes down to. Ask. If it's a huge author, with no time to interact, then there is information available. If I can find a decent estimate to how many swallows would be required to carry a coconut, I am certain that book spoilers are child's play in comparison. If it's an Indie author? Contact them. I don't think I speak for only myself when I say I would be delighted to connect with a new reader. To give them whatever they need to make a choice about reading my book. I think my final anecdote here illustrates why this could be a beautiful thing and sums up my feelings perfectly...
Not long after my debut indie-pubbed tale of Jackie's first-ever threesome, Thrills of Three was released, I received a message from a new reader.
Dear Steph
I started reading your story Thrills of Three over the weekend. The introduction was very mysterious and exciting while I wondered what Raymond planned for Jackie. Everything was so great until you got to the part of the blindfold. As soon as it came up, I got nervous and anxious. The thought of not being able to see is a phobia I have. Being in the dark. It's connected to trauma and abuse. Because of this I couldn't keep reading, and I'm sorry. I will give you a great review but I can't read the rest of the pages. You must think its pretty stupid. Please don't take this as a negative on your writing. You have beautiful words.
In all honesty, I cried a little. I felt bad. Perhaps I could have written a blindfold disclaimer. Perhaps I could edit it and eliminate the blindfold all together. But the blindfold was so critical to the balance of trust and power, and who truly held all the power in that book. I was torn and decided to respond and that simple act changed everything. We chatted back and forth for a few days. I gave simple summaries and minor spoilers, and she asked questions that worried her. I quoted lines to show the emotions and affection behind the moments, the humour that could be found hidden within. A few weeks after, another message from her. She had read the book, start to finish, each and every word. Most importantly, she loved the connection to the blindfold. She couldn't stop talking about it. My heart and soul smiled that day... But they danced on the rooftops 3 months later. I received another email that her and her husband worked hard at bringing a blindfold into their playtime. Step by step, with my words as a motivation. "An erotic road map" she called it. It took time, trust, patience, consent, courage, self-care, and checking-in, but they did it. The blindfold eventually became just another accessory to hang by the bed.
If anyone asks me how I judge my success as an author, this anecdote is all that I need and all that I want. Even now, while typing this blog I find myself choking up and teary-eyed thinking back to that moment. It was that pure and powerful. With that being said, It is important to follow your gut. For both authors and readers. All I ask is that we please not forget what it's like to step into the unknown. You never know what you may learn and you never know what you may learn to love. That's the beauty of real exploration.
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